When it comes to friendships, Natalia (32) is very passionate and persistent: the last time she saw her friends was before the pandemic. She finds happiness in dancing, nature and being with her family. She enjoys her internship at the Ukrainian Association in Finland, where she can talk and be with other Ukrainians.
“I moved to Finland as an au pair seven years ago and I stayed here because I met my soon-to-be-husband. Everything happened so fast. We got married one month before my au pair contract ended. We met on Tinder; it’s one of the rare stories that worked out.”
“I like it in Helsinki. I like that it’s kind of a calm and modern city. The integration process of Finland is nice. There is equality; it works so well that everybody has the same rights. If you come from another country, they will provide a lot of integrational courses. Finding a job is the only hard part.”
“I’m really happy that my husband’s parents don’t have anything against me. My aunt had a Finnish husband but his parents were kind of skeptical about her, even though she was a super nice person. For some reason they didn’t really accept her in the family. I didn’t experience this kind of negativity, but maybe there were some minor cases.”
“Since the war started, when I speak Ukrainian, Finnish people think that it’s Russian. They look at me weirdly. I am from a Russian-speaking family, but I switched to Ukrainian when the war started. My son also should learn Ukrainian, so that’s why I chose that language. So yeah, sometimes people look at me skeptically in public, but nothing aggressive has happened to me. I think Finnish people are really friendly and open-minded.”
“One thing that I find “weird” in Finnish culture is that they don’t say hi. At first I couldn’t decide if it was something against me, but later I realized this is just how they are.”
On the other side of the truth
“I was born in Crimea, in Simferopol. My parents still live in Ukraine, in Crimea, and it’s really difficult. The Russian propaganda worked really well, and unfortunately, they are on the other side of the truth. We don’t speak about politics, war, or anything like that. We keep in touch; we call each other because I have a child. It’s important that my son and my parents get to know each other in some way.”
“I miss Ukraine a lot. The last time I was there was in 2018; after that the pandemic came, and then the war started. Now that I’m a mother I don’t feel like I can risk my life to go there, but I really want to go. I really miss my friends.”
“I want to go back to Ukraine as soon as the war ends. So many of my friends live there, I would really want to visit them. But to live there, maybe not.”
“After all, I’ve found my place, my community. However, last March was kind of a dark time for me. I got diagnosed with depression. I have a psychotherapist and we are digging deep into how and why I got depressed. She and I think that it’s because I can’t go and meet my friends. But with medical help and therapy I am getting better. I don’t cry that much, I can laugh.”
Walking, talking, thinking
“My family brings me a lot of joy. My husband supports me a lot. I think nature also helps me. I know it may sound like a cliché. You just go alone or with your family, walking, talking, thinking, taking some pictures. A safe place also brings happiness. When you don’t have to worry about tomorrow, or money.”
“Also, I go dancing, that’s a hobby from my childhood. I have a nice teacher there, it’s street dance, hip-hop. I knew that something was wrong when I noticed that dancing doesn’t make me happy.”
“I was thinking: would I have depression if there was no war? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I had my son and my life totally changed? There are a lot of questions. I’m trying to find joy in life. Yes, there is a war, yes, I can’t meet my friends and yes, my parents are in a sensitive situation. But I’m trying to live a happy life.”
Thanks to the Ukrainian Association of Finland
Written by Elina Luomanperä and Kriszta Farkas
Photo by Mara Andrea Țuică
